Survival Guide: Being a Writer with a Day Job
For all my fellow writers out there working a day job, I get it. I know how disheartening it can be to have other commitments taking up your time when you’re just dying to write.
Maybe you manage to squeeze some writing time in before work. This is a wonderful habit, but it can be frustrating to have to close the computer and head to work just as you’re hitting your stride. Alternatively, you might write after work—another great habit, but also difficult. When your brain is tired after a day of doing whatever it is you do to pay your rent, it can be hard to get creative.
I wish I could give you an easy answer, some sort of formula like do this + change that = a rich and fulfilling writing life. Alas, if such a formula exists, it eludes me. Instead, let me offer a handful of suggestions for how to feed your soul and hone your skills as a writer while still honoring your other commitments.
People Watching
Most fiction books (and some nonfiction) are, at their heart, a study of people. How do people work? Why do they work that way? What makes them the same as each other, and what makes them different? What, at the end of the day, makes them human?
Readers like to compare themselves with the characters on the page. They relax into the characters they understand; they puzzle over the ones they don’t. They get inspired by the traits they admire. Sometimes, they even make life changes to better align themselves with their favorite characters—I know I have.
A lot of writers, whether they realize it or not, are in the business of figuring people out. If you step back and take a good hard look at your work, you’ll probably see that you are exploring humanity in one way or another. Even writers who write about cats or robots are usually secretly actually writing about humans.
This means that pretty much every part of your life can be considered research. Do you work with other humans as part of your day job? Great! Watch them. Watch what they say and do. Watch what they don’t say and do. What surprises you about them? What doesn’t surprise you at all?
Every observation you make about the actual humans around you helps you do a better job of making up imaginary humans on the page. And nonfiction writers, people watching can help you too. Not only can it provide you with anecdotes and support for a wide range of topics, but gaining insight into human beings in general means that you are gaining insight into your readers. Understanding different perspectives and motivations can help you write with more intentionally toward the people who will eventually read your work.
Approaching your day-to-day interactions through the lens of a writer can also help you to be less defensive and anxious during stressful interactions. Instead of putting your walls up when you’re around that difficult colleague or client, you can remain open and curious with them. Not only will you be able to make some good observations about human nature, but you may find that the interactions themselves actually improve. People tend to become more pleasant if they feel you are genuinely rooting for them and open to understanding their perspective.
2. Looking In
All of us get to take part in one ultimate case study as we navigate the whole What does it mean to be human? debacle. We each get one, special shot at being a human. That means, while it is important to observe other people, it can be just as helpful to observe ourselves. We are the case study.
Only you know the thoughts that go zinging through your head at any given moment. Only you know the emotions that well up at all hours of the day and night. Only you know the reasoning—or lack thereof—behind your habits. You know when you’re faking a laugh and when you’re filtering your words in order to manipulate someone. You know when you’re scared spitless, when you’re so mad at yourself you could scream, or when you feel like you’re going to die from loneliness.
What’s great is that if something is true for you, it’s most definitely true for someone else—not everyone, of course, but some people are just going to “get” you, no problem. So fiction writers: Don’t waste your time writing characters the way you think humans think or behave; YOU are a human who thinks and behaves! Put some of your own truth into your characters, and they will start to jump off the page.
Note: I’m not suggesting that you make every character an exact replica of yourself. Instead, put grains of yourself into all of your characters: your wanderlust into one, your aversion to oranges into another, your brutal insecurities into another. Doing so will connect you not only with these fictional people, but also with the real people who will read your work and think, “Hey! That’s me, too!”
Fiction AND nonfiction writers: In order to strengthen your work when you sit down to write, start actively checking in with yourself throughout the day. In the same way that you try to stay curious and keep an open mind about the people around you, stay curious and keep an open mind about yourself. Start asking yourself why more often. Why did I just yell at that guy who cut me off on the highway? Why did I start hyperventilating in the grocery store? Why did I say, “You too” when the barista told me to enjoy my caramel macchiato?
Analyzing your own behavior can help you to write more convincingly when the time comes. The better you understand yourself, the better you will be able to communicate in a way that helps others to understand themselves.
3. Finding Silver Linings
As a general rule, most readers aren’t sitting down to read a book so they can feel like crap. They are looking for something that will inspire them, energize them, or reassure them—possibly all at once. I don’t care how dark your story gets, there should be a thread of light in there that your reader can hold onto. Maybe lots of threads. When you follow them, you’ll see that they lead you to some sort of message, something that encourages the reader to do better, to be better.
Some writers may find theme an easier concept to grapple with than others. Regardless of how you feel about it, it will help if you can practice looking for it in your own life. Keep an eye out for the good things that pop up around you—the silver linings around the rainclouds, so to speak. Where do those good things come from? Which ones are particularly meaningful to you and why?
The more you notice and think about meaningful things in your own life, the easier you will find it to weave them into your work. We tend to write what’s percolating in our minds and hearts. Take the initiative to make sure those things are going to leave both you and your readers with a good taste in your mouths.
4. Trying New Things
Writers can be incredibly imaginative people; they can also be thorough people who conduct great research. Lots of writers write about the unknown—and some of them can do it very well.
Still, at the end of the day, the base of your work is going to be your own experience. You can add all the research and creativity you want, but the foundation is laid by the “stuff you know.”
It follows, then, that the more you know, the more you can write.
Every experience is useful as a writer. The uncomfortable conversations at work. The unexpected conversations with strangers. The steady relationships, the rocky relationships, the thrilling relationships. The accidents. The near-misses. The good days. The bad days. The dreams that come true and the plans that fall through. All of it can be used to craft good, authentic writing.
Do your best to intentionally expose yourself to new experiences. This doesn’t have to be anything exotic or expensive. You don’t have to go hot air ballooning over the French Riviera or BASE jumping off the Kuala Lumpur Tower. Try some simple things: Drive a different route home from work. Phone a friend you haven’t talked to in a while to catch up. Take an art class. Assemble some furniture. Anything to keep you engaged in the world around you. When you are growing as a person, your writing will naturally grow with you.
I will save more day job survival tips for a future post. In the meantime, do your best to show up for your commitments with joy and curiosity. Grow your empathy for the people around you—and yourself. Embrace new experiences. And of course, relish the writing time when it comes.
You’re doing great! Keep looking up.