Managing Stress as a Writer

For years, writing has been a respite from the chronic stress I tote around like Sherpa’s pack on Everest. It’s my happy place, the thing that makes me feel like me—like I was built for it.

In recent months, however, I’ve noticed that the act of writing—as wonderful as it is—can be fraught with anxiety. Stress can be a sneaky copilot, sitting unobtrusively beside us, ever so slightly nudging the controls until suddenly we’re landing in Timbuktu when really we’d meant to go to Italy. It can stifle our creativity and eat away at our self-confidence, neither of which serious writers can afford to lose in any significant measure.

Here are a few of my personal observations about the relationship between stress and writing. I share them in the hopes that they can help you to relax more in your own work and hopefully avoid the scenic detour to Timbuktu.

1) What Are Your Physical Habits While Writing?

The next time you settle in to write, try to check in with your body after about five to ten minutes. What are you doing with your hands when they are not actively typing? What are your shoulders up to? (Possibly, they are literally up to your ears.) Are you clenching your jaw? Are you breathing properly?

Notice where you are holding your tension. Notice if there are any physical habits that you keep going back to (I used to bite my lips). Don’t judge yourself if you are doing strange, subconscious things with your body. Instead, try to identify what emotion is causing those things to emerge. Are you anxious? Bored? Discouraged? Fearful?

Once you’ve identified an emotion that resonates with what you are experiencing in your body, take a moment to go a step deeper. Ask yourself…

2) What Are You Secretly Believing About Yourself While Writing?

If your body is tensing up while you write, it is most likely a physical reaction to a lie you are believing about yourself in that moment. In order to figure out what the lie is, it may help to first identify what emotion you’re feeling. Then, see if you can get at the thought behind that emotion.

Here’s how this process might go for myself:

Gosh, I just realized I’m not actually taking full breaths. My tummy is all tensed up. I’m feeling anxious. I can’t seem to find the right words today. I’m making a complete mess of this scene. Other writers are so much better than I am. If I ever manage to get this published, readers won’t like it, and I can’t blame them. No one will ever care about this story the way I do. It’s going to fall through the cracks and I will be miserable and embarrassed and eventually die alone surrounded by stacks of mediocre manuscripts.

It's worth noting that even though these lies are whispering away in the back of your mind, you might not actually be aware of them. Here you are, plugging away on Chapter 18, trying to describe the way your character’s garden glistens with dew in the morning light, and meanwhile your subconscious is having a freak-out about what a horrible failure you probably-most-definitely are. It’s not until you realize that you’re tensing your core or rubbing your face that you clue into the fact that there’s something going on beneath the surface.

Once you identify what lie you’ve been telling yourself, put the kibosh on it immediately. Do not let that lie steal your joy as a writer.

Here are a few lies you might catch yourself listening to, as well as some truths you can use to counter them:

• I’m not a very good writer. You don’t have to be perfect. Whatever you’re stuck on, it will get there eventually.

• No one will like what I’m writing. Yes, they will. If it is meaningful for you, it will be meaningful for someone else.

• I’m not valuable. Of course you are. You don’t need to write a masterpiece to prove your worth. Your value is not at stake here. You can relax and enjoy the ride.

3) What Habits Have You Established Outside of Writing?

Writers are writers all the time, not just when they sit down at the computer. We are constantly observing and absorbing the nature of things, looking for new ways to tell the truth about life. In order to write authentically about the world, we have to be participants in it—much to the chagrin of my fellow introverts who felt tired just reading the word “participants.”

If you are looking to eliminate stress in your writing time, it’s important to check in with the habits you have established when you are away from the writing desk. Your whole life can and should support your work as a writer.

So, vet your habits. Clue into what you are doing on a daily or weekly basis and ask yourself if they:

• Support you physically? Writing requires a huge amount of brain power, and it can be hard on the body to stay stationary for long periods of time. Make sure you are eating properly, sleeping enough, and getting some sort of exercise. These habits will bolster you in the long run.

• Support you mentally? Our own creativity is fed when we witness and connect with the creativity of others. Are you seeking out books, shows, music, or other creative mediums that get you excited about life? Are you continuing to learn new things?

• Support you socially? Writing typically necessitates a certain level of isolation. Make sure you are investing in relationships with real humans, not just fictional ones. They will help to keep you grounded.

• Support you spiritually? Your attention is a powerful thing; it’s important to be deliberate about where you’re putting it. Are the things you’re focusing on truly helping you to become the sort of person you want to be? Does that person align with the work you want to accomplish as a writer?

Remember, the best writing comes from a place of courage, not fear. If stress has been creeping up on you in your writing time, acknowledge it, and then show it the door. Your writing is too important to risk taking anxiety on as a co-author.